Does setting goals for a healthy relationship truly work or is it another hogwash thing they’re trying to sell as Valentine’s Day gets near?

Nicole and I have a lot of couple / relationship goals for 2019. The biggest of these involve traveling, saving money, and spending more quality time with another (finding work/life balance, that is).

We thought it’d be neat to put together a relationship goals checklist. This would let us measure whether it’s just playing into that lovey-dovey, movie-like relationship or if we’re connecting on a #real level.

HuffPo has a list of things that make a healthy relationship which, to us, set the standard for what goes into this goal making, they’re:

  • Self-love
  • Trust
  • Honesty
  • Communication
  • Connection

Then, mix in some research and we’ve compiled what we’ve found in this big, lovely list of goals for a relationship. Let’s see here…


In no particular order:

  1. Individuality. You each need to lead your own lives, having hobbies & interests, and personal goals. They can align in some areas but individuality in a relationship can keep things feeling fresh — you’re both complete individuals vs relying on another for every form of validation.
  2. Just Lounging. There’s a lot you can learn about your significant other when you’re spending all day just lounging around. Try it. You’ll see the routines and, in a way, test your patience with the person. If you can get through the days when they seem dull then you’ll do just fine!
  3. Real Talk. Talk about the tough stuff like past experiences, finances, if/when to have kids, buying a house, and old age. Talk like adults versus appealing to them. Get real. These are the things that will affect your lives more than what you’re eating tonight. The goal is to align with the big, big goals many years down the line.
  4. Be Grimy. We read a neat article called, “The couples that’s sick together, stick together” around the time we both had the flu. For 3 days we cared for each other while we looked and sounded our worst. We held back hair to vomit, wiped away snot, and so much more. We got through it and in some weird way it felt like a real bonding experience. You two are bound to get sick, use this to see if you can stand each other beyond going out on dates.
  5. Go Have Fun. Remember that thrilling feeling you two had during the first, few dates? Rekindle that magic by adding novelty to the routine. Get up, go out on a date night, and have fun. Don’t plan it like you do meeting up with friends that takes a schedule and gymnastics to make things happen. Be spontaneous. Make weekly goals like trying new restaurants. Do monthly goals like visiting an outlying town or city. Set yearly goals like taking your relationship to the next level whether that’s getting a place together, considering kids, going on a big vacation, or wherever you are in the relationship.
  6. Talk It Out. Probably the best advice I (Murray) got from my parents is, “Don’t go to bed angry”. Their point being that if something was bothering them they’d communicate and air their grievances. Having to go sleep on the couch isn’t a good sign of communication. It sucks bringing up tough subjects but by talking it out you aren’t negatively affecting the next day. You can sleep and feel refreshed. This lets the two of you jump back into your couple / relationship goals.

So, that was sort of the real-talk type stuff as far as the 2019 relationship goals go.

As for a list of things to do, plan, that type of stuff, here are some cool ideas.

Relationship Goals Examples

  1. Find a way to save a few bucks each day and use the money to do a year-end vacation or weekend trip to unwind
  2. Make a list of things you’re afraid of and make it a goal to overcome it by working together and supporting another through the tough times
  3. Try something mind-blowing in the bedroom and knock their socks off, discover what they really enjoy under the sheets so you’re both comfortable in your bodies
  4. Surprise each other beyond just getting each other a neat gift — drop in unexpectedly or try a neat class you found on an event site
  5. Control your finances and get real about them by planning and executing a long-term savings plan for big things like if you have kids, want to buy a house, and whatnot, dig through your debts and lay it all out, too
  6. Take more photos and videos because you’re only getting older and one day you two might look back on those times when surrounding by loved ones — don’t be shy
  7. Talk about what’s negative in your lives and what’s affecting the relationship and use 2019 to cut it/them out. Don’t let external negativity impact what you have going on with your special someone.
  8. In 2019 we going analog. This means disconnecting from the screen like your damn phone or always on the computer. These are cools tools but why give up the best times by being distracted by some BS rant on Twitter or getting sucked into more click-bait nonsense?
  9. Start a tradition even if it’s something goofy and silly. One day you two may have a family, wouldn’t it be great to have something that became a regular thing to build bonds or act as an inside joke?
  10. Make it a point to not chase every hype thing in 2019. Find your own weird vs being some trend hunter.

Honestly, we don’t know where all this is going. Maybe we’re rambling, ha. But yeah, there you have it. A couple / relationship goals 2019 list.

Hey, Add to Couples Goals List

We’d say you can add all kinds of little things like going out on more dates, working on hobbies/crafts, and that stuff but you already know that. Instead, we want you two to find a deeper meaning in what you’ve got going on. Make 2019 that year where you both truly connect.

We’ve got the comment section below so if you’re feeling open — why not add a few ideas to the couples / relationship goals list? Let others hear what neat ideas and goals you’ve got going on and maybe they’ll add it to theirs, too!